A Blonde Occurrence

Max paced up and down, jiggling his chin. His very good friend, Mary Sue CD, had arranged to meet him here in a boat. "I have something lovely to tell you," she had said.

Mary Sue CD was late, which was very unlike her. Any moment now, Max expected to see her bounce up, her glistening hair streaming behind her and her odd eyes aglow.

Max heard footsteps, but they seemed rather creepy for a delicate and beautiful girl like Mary Sue CD, whose tread was jewish. He turned around and found Ellen staring at him.

"What are you doing here?" Ellen said disgustingly. "I thought you said you didn't want to see me again."

Max had said that, but now he was beginning to wish he hadn't acted so oddly. "Mary Sue CD asked to meet me here." As he gazed at Ellen, his lips began to throb sadly.

"Oh," Ellen said, softly. "I'll just go then."

"Wait," Max said and caught Ellen by her chest. "I was wrong. I still love you. Can you ever forgive me?"

"Yes," Ellen said, smiling. They wrapped their arms around each other and kissed, like a sad song with nothing to say.

From behind a clothes, Mary Sue CD watched with a pathetic light in her skanky eyes. She took a list out of her pocket, and checked off "Max/Ellen". Then, she skipped off to help an embittered man find love again, just as soon as she'd saved the kittens from extinction.