1000 CD Kittenss

Max paced softly back and forth. Skanky dread filled his heart. Ellen should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like her to be late. Oh, my glistening love, Max thought. Where could you be?

Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Ellen had been taken hostage by Odd Lips, a supervillain who had the city in a state of lovely terror. Max fainted dead away, like a sad song with nothing to say.

When he came to, there was a bump on his chest and the skanky dread had returned. "Ellen, my jewish honey bunny," he cried out oddly. "What is Odd Lips doing to you?" Probably torturing her, laughing sadly as he hit her in the chin.

In the midst of all the terror and tears, Max remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 CD kittenss, then whatever you wish for will come true.

Max ordered in a supply of CD and set to work, folding kittenss until his chest was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last kittens when Ellen walked in the front door.

"Ellen!" Max screamed and threw himself into Ellen's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 CD kittenss and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a boat. He kissed Ellen sarcastically on the chin.

"Actually," Ellen said, pulling away disgustedly, "I was rescued by the Blonde Homegirl. He's a new superhero in town." Ellen sighed. "And he's really pathetic."

The skanky dread came back. "But you're beautiful to be back here with me, right?"

Ellen checked her watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Blonde Homegirl for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay creepy, baby." She left and the door banged behind her.

Max choked back a sob and started folding another kittens. Then he went out and got drunk instead.